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| 11:59pm 12/10/2005 |
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HIII!
haha. wow. I'm on livejournal. Hey ladies and gents.
Xev has been working and working and saving and saving because I'm trying not to depend on my parents anymore.
I think I'm going to update more. |
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| 11:51pm 27/06/2005 |
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wellllllll..........
I turned 21 last month.
not much else to say.
:D |
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| She's a Killer Queen. Queen Of Hearts. |
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| 11:02pm 16/01/2005 |
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My siblings finally left for home on Friday. I'm kind of happy because I can have the whole house to myself. Well Gavin, Star and I. Ophelia wants to move in with me because she hates staying with our parents. I said I would have to think about it. I don't really know if I want her being here all the time.
and the other thing. I was right my body can't hold a child. I had a miscarriage.:( I guess it was for the best because I was drinking and doing drugs. That's only because I didn't know about it. If I did, I wouldn't have. I didn't tell Gavin. I doubt he would care either way. I was almost 3 months and I didn't even know.I guess I was just so stressed about everything else I didn't noticed. I've been really upset lately but that's the way life is. I can't even to Gavin about it. Ophelia knows though. So it was nice to talk to her about it.
Star came home finally. It's good to see her. She took me out to eat. Of course I wanted Taco Bell. God, I love that place so much!
I love the Doors. |
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| mommmie Xev? |
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| 01:58am 28/12/2004 |
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mood:  worried music: 4am
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Me? be a mom? hahaha fat fucking chance. I was wondering why I was gaining weight. This is not going to work out. It's going buhbye. I am in no way emotional stable for a baby. I don't even think my body could even carry one. I don't know if I'm going to tell Gavin. I probably will but first I have to build up the courage to. omg I'm freaking out about this.
A new year is coming. a brand new start. I can't wait. |
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| 01:34am 21/12/2004 |
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she knows. I feel so ashamed to be myself right now. But I do it because I like it. |
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| 12:31am 18/12/2004 |
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mood:  depressed
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It always seems that I have a good day then I have a horrible day the next day.
I just want to be held and taken care of.
I'm so upset and have no one to talk to about it.
I'm going hate myself in the morning. Maybe going to bed will make me feel better. |
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| 10:04pm 16/12/2004 |
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I've smoked 2 packs of cig in the past 3 days. That's the worst I have ever done. shit man.
But that's all good. I took the kids shopping at Southland... hah that sounds so funny. This guy kept following us and hitting on my sister. hah. Silly teenage boys.
I'm down to my goal weight! I'm 110! Rachel said something along the lines of " ew your bones are sticking out, that's gross." Gavin said I looked great.
good week good week. I got another check from my parents which is good because now I've got money again. I bearly got any hours this week,but my boss told me I would get more next week. |
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| holy smokes |
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| 09:32pm 10/12/2004 |
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I'm so stressed right now. I not taking care of myself, I've just been lumping around not wanting to talk to anyone..
The only thing that made me feel better was that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is coming out in a few months.
I have come to the conclusion my roommate is dead. no joke.
And worst of all Rachel was flirting with Gavin.... FUCKING WHORE.... I ripped her a new asshole. The twins were laughing their asses off. Any one want a 16 year old slave? she's freee! |
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| 11:28pm 08/12/2004 |
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Rip John Lennon
You know what really pisses me off? When people put something they like in their journal and someone comments on how " gay" it is... FUCK YOURSELF..kthx...fatass.
I need help and I have decided to get it. Hopefully this will work. wish my luck dolls. |
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| i wanna sleep. |
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| 11:29pm 03/12/2004 |
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This week has been horrible. I worked everyday. I'm so tired.
I can never be alone in my own house! ahhhh. Is having some peace against the law?!? blah. I should just give them money to go outside and go somewhere away from me. I want alone time with Gavin.
I haven't eaten in 3 days. :D I honestly think I need help.
well my bed is calling. |
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| 11:34pm 30/11/2004 |
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He finally lost. |
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| 10:54pm 26/11/2004 |
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I miss my mom and dad. :/
I got off work early today which was great. ahh the love of not working.
Thanksgiving just made me miss my parents more, but I have to be strong. It was the twins, Rachel, Gavin, and I. I made the Turkey. Of course I didn't eat much.
After dinner Ophelia and I talked for a while. Wow. She's so grown up.. maybe even more than me. She misses her friends in France. She talked about how Rachel is always blamming her for things she doesn't do. Michael and Marie are sometimes go off on her. She is a mini me... it's creepy. |
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| 02:16am 25/11/2004 |
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Happy ThanksGiving My dears. |
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| 10:50pm 23/11/2004 |
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I'm beginning to think my roommate isn't coming back.
I would like to drop Rachel off in the middle of no where and leave her. |
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| oh why? |
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| 09:23pm 20/11/2004 |
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HOLY FUCK. My mom calls me this morning at like 5 and tells me that her and my dad wanted to go traveling for a month and that I need to go pick up my brother and sisters at the airport today.. BUT she is giving me money for their food and shit. Orpheus and Ophelia, 17 almost 18, are cool with me because they are my real brother and sister ( ps.. they are twins) But my step sister , Rachel ,16, is a total bitch. Orpheus and Ophelia have grown so much! I haven't seen them in forever. I miss them. I'm not really sure what I am going to do with 3 kids around the apartment. This is going to be a problem. :/ I might go insane and throw them away.. hahahah. I kid I kid... >> well maybe
My roommate has gone missing again.... seriously she goes off for days and days... I wish she would tell me where in the hell she goes, So I don't worry so much.
Frank Sinatra is great. I headed to Best Buy because their Cds were $9.99. |
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| 02:32am 07/11/2004 |
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goin on 3 days! I love it. I am going to see how long this one lasts before Gavin forces me to take care of myself.
I've been so busy this past week. busy busy busy...how boring. Work is taking up every little time I have. I haven't have fun in a week. :( all work and no fun makes Xev a depressed girl.
soo weak..
FUCK FAIRLANE MALL. |
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| 02:29am 07/11/2004 |
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