And the cigarettes were smoking themselves

imaginethestars @ 2005-10-12T23:59:00

2005-10-13T04:00:41Z

HIII!

haha. wow. I'm on livejournal. Hey ladies and gents.

Xev has been working and working and saving and saving because I'm trying not to depend on my parents anymore.

I think I'm going to update more.

imaginethestars @ 2005-06-27T23:51:00

2005-06-28T03:50:42Z

wellllllll..........

I turned 21 last month.

not much else to say.

:D

imaginethestars @ 2005-04-02T00:23:00

2005-04-02T05:23:03Z

hi.

She's a Killer Queen. Queen Of Hearts.

2005-01-17T04:11:55Z

My siblings finally left for home on Friday. I'm kind of happy because I can have the whole house to myself. Well Gavin, Star and I. Ophelia wants to move in with me because she hates staying with our parents. I said I would have to think about it. I don't really know if I want her being here all the time.

and the other thing. I was right my body can't hold a child. I had a miscarriage.:( I guess it was for the best because I was drinking and doing drugs. That's only because I didn't know about it. If I did, I wouldn't have. I didn't tell Gavin. I doubt he would care either way. I was almost 3 months and I didn't even know.I guess I was just so stressed about everything else I didn't noticed. I've been really upset lately but that's the way life is. I can't even to Gavin about it. Ophelia knows though. So it was nice to talk to her about it.

Star came home finally. It's good to see her. She took me out to eat. Of course I wanted Taco Bell. God, I love that place so much!

I love the Doors.

mommmie Xev?

2004-12-28T07:04:46Z

Me? be a mom? hahaha fat fucking chance. I was wondering why I was gaining weight. This is not going to work out. It's going buhbye. I am in no way emotional stable for a baby. I don't even think my body could even carry one. I don't know if I'm going to tell Gavin. I probably will but first I have to build up the courage to. omg I'm freaking out about this.

A new year is coming. a brand new start. I can't wait.

imaginethestars @ 2004-12-24T02:12:00

2004-12-24T07:18:37Z

omg that's so damn cute!

hot.

imaginethestars @ 2004-12-21T01:34:00

2004-12-21T06:33:57Z

she knows. I feel so ashamed to be myself right now. But I do it because I like it.

Ricci

2004-12-21T03:05:13Z

imaginethestars @ 2004-12-18T00:31:00

2004-12-18T05:38:22Z

It always seems that I have a good day then I have a horrible day the next day.

I just want to be held and taken care of.

I'm so upset and have no one to talk to about it.

I'm going hate myself in the morning. Maybe going to bed will make me feel better.

imaginethestars @ 2004-12-16T22:04:00

2004-12-17T03:10:06Z

I've smoked 2 packs of cig in the past 3 days. That's the worst I have ever done. shit man.

But that's all good. I took the kids shopping at Southland... hah that sounds so funny. This guy kept following us and hitting on my sister. hah. Silly teenage boys.

I'm down to my goal weight! I'm 110! Rachel said something along the lines of " ew your bones are sticking out, that's gross." Gavin said I looked great.

good week good week. I got another check from my parents which is good because now I've got money again. I bearly got any hours this week,but my boss told me I would get more next week.

holy smokes

2004-12-11T02:37:01Z

I'm so stressed right now. I not taking care of myself, I've just been lumping around not wanting to talk to anyone..

The only thing that made me feel better was that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is coming out in a few months.

I have come to the conclusion my roommate is dead. no joke.

And worst of all Rachel was flirting with Gavin.... FUCKING WHORE.... I ripped her a new asshole. The twins were laughing their asses off. Any one want a 16 year old slave? she's freee!

imaginethestars @ 2004-12-08T23:28:00

2004-12-09T04:30:47Z

Rip
John Lennon

You know what really pisses me off? When people put something they like in their journal and someone comments on how " gay" it is... FUCK YOURSELF..kthx...fatass.

I need help and I have decided to get it. Hopefully this will work. wish my luck dolls.

i wanna sleep.

2004-12-04T04:54:45Z

This week has been horrible. I worked everyday. I'm so tired.

I can never be alone in my own house! ahhhh. Is having some peace against the law?!? blah. I should just give them money to go outside and go somewhere away from me. I want alone time with Gavin.

I haven't eaten in 3 days. :D I honestly think I need help.

well my bed is calling.

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-30T23:34:00

2004-12-01T04:34:17Z

He finally lost.

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-26T22:54:00

2004-11-27T03:59:20Z

I miss my mom and dad. :/

I got off work early today which was great. ahh the love of not working.

Thanksgiving just made me miss my parents more, but I have to be strong. It was the twins, Rachel, Gavin, and I. I made the Turkey. Of course I didn't eat much.

After dinner Ophelia and I talked for a while. Wow. She's so grown up.. maybe even more than me. She misses her friends in France. She talked about how Rachel is always blamming her for things she doesn't do. Michael and Marie are sometimes go off on her. She is a mini me... it's creepy.

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-25T02:16:00

2004-11-25T07:15:15Z

Happy ThanksGiving My dears.

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-23T22:50:00

2004-11-24T03:49:50Z

I'm beginning to think my roommate isn't coming back.

I would like to drop Rachel off in the middle of no where and leave her.

oh why?

2004-11-21T05:25:31Z

HOLY FUCK. My mom calls me this morning at like 5 and tells me that her and my dad wanted to go traveling for a month and that I need to go pick up my brother and sisters at the airport today.. BUT she is giving me money for their food and shit. Orpheus and Ophelia, 17 almost 18, are cool with me because they are my real brother and sister ( ps.. they are twins) But my step sister , Rachel ,16, is a total bitch.
Orpheus and Ophelia have grown so much! I haven't seen them in forever. I miss them.
I'm not really sure what I am going to do with 3 kids around the apartment. This is going to be a problem. :/ I might go insane and throw them away.. hahahah. I kid I kid... >> well maybe

My roommate has gone missing again.... seriously she goes off for days and days... I wish she would tell me where in the hell she goes, So I don't worry so much.

Frank Sinatra is great. I headed to Best Buy because their Cds were $9.99.

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-07T02:32:00

2004-11-07T07:35:50Z

goin on 3 days! I love it. I am going to see how long this one lasts before Gavin forces me to take care of myself.

I've been so busy this past week. busy busy busy...how boring. Work is taking up every little time I have. I haven't have fun in a week. :( all work and no fun makes Xev a depressed girl.

soo weak..

FUCK FAIRLANE MALL.

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-07T02:29:00

2004-11-07T07:28:48Z

imaginethestars @ 2004-11-02T23:19:00

2004-11-03T04:21:04Z

Halloween was great. I had lots of fun. I went to my boss's party. got wasted.

Mary Kate is so sexy. I dont know what it is but she is just so hot.

imaginethestars @ 2004-10-28T22:28:00

2004-10-29T02:34:15Z

woohoo for work, right? nah not at all. I had to work the early shift. It was alright, nothing really fun. I like working the late shift because the people are much more fun.

Mr. Poe can write. I found one of his books on my self, hell if I remember when I actaully bought the thing, so I started to read. wow. His work is so morbid, but that's why it is good. I wish I could write better! Maybe I should just stick to painting. colors are much funner to my eye.

Annabel Lee
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

As for Halloween, I am going to be a vampire. They're so sexy.

back here again

2004-10-28T03:34:37Z

I am always wondering back to times when I made a bad choice. Whenever I rethink some of that shit I get so mad at myself. I am like " how could I do that!?" Honestly, I make horrible choices and I know it. Every choice I have been making it's made me think about the bad choice that has took me here. All this stupid shit with Gavin is just asjdlfkjaslkdjfals;f. Why I am still with him? I don't know. We have been through bad and good times. But my love for him is fading and I know it. The only reason we are together is for the great sex and the drug use. Who the fuck gets someone they love addicted to H!?!?!?!?!? I have fucked up JUMBO. It's about time to change these bad choices. but where to start? I am just to scared to start.

too much is on my head. I need a break I guess.

on other note:

Mr. Bush can go to hell. He has no right what-so-ever to pick if a woman should have an abortion. NONE. fucking pig. It is noone's business except for the chick who is going to have an abortion. *growls* I get so pissed when I hear people talking about being pro life.

againa

2004-10-27T03:33:21Z

Today I did pretty much nothing.

I'm so sick. I am sure eating something will help me feel better but I just don't feel like eating.Eating tears up my insides.

Mr. Kitty was being so nice to me today it's like he knew I was sick. He is laying on me as I type

I want more livejournal friends.

oh yes. IM me I get bored so easily.
starshapedskin

imaginethestars @ 2004-10-25T23:44:00

2004-10-26T03:45:23Z

I remembered my password! wow. that is amazing.

heroin has now become one with me. why did I never start doing it until now? It keeps me so trim and thin.